The first things I’m going to do post-social distancing

Okay, we’re officially at the point when even the homebodies wish they weren’t confined at home. Right now, we’re planning a camping trip in place of my cancelled conference. I’m also making a best-day-ever list for the day it’s safe to venture out again. Nothing can stop us.

(P.S. Campgrounds are still open. I’ll share more about that in a different post.)

But even introverts and homebodies like me miss being able to leave the house for certain things.

1. Grocery shopping. My husband has been doing it for us since all this started (thanks, honey – you’re doing a great job). But we always used to shop together. I love being in the store. I never do grocery pickup. I like seeing what’s new in the aisles, looking at food and thinking of different ways to use it. Every few weeks, we normally take a trip out of town to Whole Foods or Fresh Thyme and buy our specialty stuff, but I have to be honest: this all started because we discovered Whole Foods has a little freezer full of mochi, which tends to be hard to find. Now our small town grocery store sells expensive little boxes of it, so the magic is lost a little. Still, shopping for food is fun for us.
   
2. Sushi. We have no sushi in town. I hear you already – there is one place, but I hope your gut is prepared for certain doom. The nearest non-sketchy sushi place by my definition is 45 minutes away from us. I miss it dearly. I’ll be back for you, Kobayashi.
   
3. The bookstore. Half Price Books, I’m looking at you. I’ve been going to HPB since I was a teenager and my dad and I first discovered it. It’s a magical place where you can sell your books as you finish them and buy new (used) ones. They also have a great selection of records and board games, and we’ve found a few super valuable collector’s editions of Star Trek games there, too.
   
4. The movie theater. A great day should be topped off with popcorn and a movie in the theater with reclining seats. I’m grateful for some of the early releases of films to stream and rent, but it just isn’t the same.
   
5. Trying something new. Every year, we try to do something we’ve never done before. It started back in 2016 when we took my make-a-wish trip (that’s just what I call it since I was in the middle of the worst treatment ever). We swam with sea lions in the Florida Keys. In 2017, we took on our first major home renovation project. In 2018, we went to Virginia and explored some of the historical landmarks. In 2019, we saw our first Broadway show in Chicago. 2020… TBD. We were supposed to check something off our bucket list in April during our vacation, but we had to cancel.

I know even when restrictions are lifted, I, personally, still have to proceed with caution. Just because our government says we can go back to business as usual doesn’t mean it’s the right thing or safest thing to do. So I’ll let others go back to “normal” life and see how it goes. Good luck, test subjects.

Swimming with a sea lion at Theatre of the Sea.

It’s okay to feel things

You have my permission to feel whatever it is you’re feeling. This is a no judgment zone. I’ll pass you the feelings stick in a minute, and you can get it off your chest.

But right now, I’ve got it, so give me a few minutes.

Loneliness is a real thing. I’m not talking about solitude. I choose that for myself. And in solitude, it’s easier to ignore the feelings of loneliness.

But it gets way worse around other people, whether that’s in a group chat or in a coffee shop. You’re sitting there watching a web of connections all around you, but you’re the outlier.

You know how magnets have the side that repels other magnets? Sometimes I feel like that magnet. So similar but never getting close enough to connect with people. I realize this is common, having spent many years processing this. It was not until college that I realize I’m the magnet always being pushed away. You know what’s ironic about that? Magnets that push each other away have the same poles. They actually have a lot in common.

Add the current crisis to the mix: loss of control, uncertainty, fear. Really bad stuff is happening all around us right now. People we know are dying, losing their jobs, struggling to feed their families and pay their bills, trying not to lose their minds cooped up inside after several consecutive days of rain.

It isn’t just separation and longing I’m feeling anymore. It’s the inability to do anything about any of the pain in the world. At least when we could leave our houses, I could try to fix things. I could cover up loneliness with helpfulness (looking at you Enneagram 2s). I could ask for company. I could go to the grocery store and pretend to be normal.

Part of the process is grieving the old days. Part of the process is feeling anxiety about the new days. Will they be better? Or worse, will they be more of the same? Can we escape the loneliness that’s a plague just as frightening and isolating?

Alright, you can have the feelings stick now.

Gratitude

Hosea 14:8     

“I am the one who answers your prayers and cares for you. I am like a tree that is always green; all your fruit comes from me.”

I took vacation days during the COVID-19 crisis

So, I took a couple days off. I planned a short trip for these days, but we’ve been ordered to stay at home indefinitely.

A few have asked why I needed to take a vacation if I work from home every day. They’ll find out soon enough if they ever work from home. Vacation days aren’t all about getting a break from the people or the environment.

I am a full-time writer. That means I spend 9-10 hours a day researching, ideating (I think that’s a word, right?), planning, drafting, polishing and publishing content. Remember writing papers for college? Well, I do that process every day for everything I write. Sometimes I need a break.

Also, I am a bit of a hermit. I could [probably] outlast anyone in a solitary confinement challenge. Maybe that’s not a good thing, but all this time at home has taught me where I’m my best self. For a long time, I’ve fought with the pressure to be a useful, productive member of society. But so many say I can’t do this at home, being who I am. I hear this a lot in my church circles. If you want to be somebody, you have to work out your introversion like a disease. Everyone should love you for who you are, but they’ll love you better if you act like someone else.

But the truth is, I’ve always wanted to be a writer. And I’ve done some of my best writing since I’ve not had to commute to work and sit in a cubicle and expend social energy. I’ve been taking a class and learning to do something on my bucket list. I have a great exercise routine, and while I have bad days, I am the most healthy mentally that I’ve been in a long time.

I am the most comfortable being me that I’ve ever been.

So I guess I’m saying if you’re struggling to figure out where you fit in, you might come to the same conclusion I did. That is, you’ll realize you belong nowhere, and therefore everywhere, just as Maya Angelou said.

There isn’t much better than being okay with who you are.

Maybe vacation days.

Why don’t all airports need air traffic controllers?

Plane crashes. Locals think we’ve had a lot of them lately. Our regional airport serves a small-ish community, but it’s actually quite a decent-sized establishment. I mean, compared to some other places we’ve flown into, we at least have restrooms with running water (looking at you, Tennessee). I’m kidding – it’s much better than that.

We have over 50 airplanes stationed at our airport, including a few corporate aircraft, which means we aren’t just a bunch of recreational pilots. We have nice facilities, up-to-date infrastructure, reasonably priced fuel and free coffee if you come in on the right day.

But we did see two fatal accidents within a year of each other and a few minor incidents in the last few years. Most of the accidents have been attributed to pilot error. All in all, our community perceives this as “frequent,” and they’ve been asking some questions.

I had the misfortune of reading the comments on the news articles posted on Facebook. Most of the time, it’s frustrating because people are speculating about who was involved in the incident, and they usually end up spreading misinformation. But this time, they were ranting about why our airport doesn’t have a tower with an air traffic controller. If only we had a tower, all of these accidents wouldn’t happen, they say.

Okay, listen. Air traffic controllers are not necessary in every location or in every scenario. Asking for a tower at every airport is like asking for a stoplight at every intersection when sometimes a four-way stop will do. So why do some airports go without? I asked my pilot husband and he helped me find some answers.

1. Traffic pattern. This is the direction and path all incoming and outgoing aircraft have to follow to land and depart at the airport. The traffic pattern keeps everyone safe, just like driving on the correct side of the road or using your turn signals. ATC or not, pilots still make errors. If pilots are prepared and follow the rules of the road, everyone’s safety increases significantly. They aren’t just flying around out there hoping they don’t hit something or somebody.
2. Announcing in the blind. This is like calling ahead to say you’ll be there soon. You announce your position and intentions on a shared frequency that everyone is expected to monitor in the vicinity. This helps pilots know when other aircraft are in the area and how far away they are. Again, it’s a good practice to over-communicate, and pilots in general usually do.
3. ATC isn’t free. A specialist(s) has to run a tower. Who is going to pay for them? Air traffic controllers are expensive – their training is expensive. It isn’t cost effective for an airport that only sees a few departures and arrivals every day. Instead, that’s what effective pilot training does. It teaches us how to be safe for each other and with each other.

Admittedly, before I started dating a pilot, I didn’t know anything about airplanes or flying or how pilots were trained. I’m sure there are tons of other people out there like me who just haven’t interacted with the aviation community much.

If that’s you, I encourage you to do two things. First, attend a community event at your local airport. Fly-in breakfasts especially are great places to meet pilots and ask them questions. Most of them love to share their passion, and they tell great stories. Second, buy a discovery flight. You’ll get 30-45 minutes with a pilot/flight instructor who will give you the full flight experience and answer any questions you have about learning to fly.

P.S. It’s good practice not to share anything online that you aren’t 100% certain is true.

Me, mid-interview with a pilot who was telling me about his Great Lakes biplane at AirVenture 2019.

A guide to wholesome YouTube channels

A few years ago, around the time I was diagnosed with ITP, I started perusing YouTube for the first time in my life. I was looking for videos about my diagnosis, patient testimonies, anything that would help me understand my illness better.

I came across some really old, sad medical videos with pixelated platelet diagrams. And then I ran into the chronic illness community… all these vloggers who were talking about their lives and health and struggles on the internet for millions of people to see. It’s where I learned about lupus and cystic fibrosis and EDS. It’s where my love of YouTube started.

Enter YouTube with caution. If you go wandering around without any direction, you’re going to run into some weird, scary content. In general, you’re going to find some generally low-quality stuff that resembles cheap reality TV. Don’t bother. I have already braved it for you. Try these instead.

1 – HEALTH | If you are interested in daily content about someone’s personal health journey, follow The Frey Life. Mary and Peter Frey vlog daily about life with cystic fibrosis and a service dog. I’ve been encouraged by their quiet faith and their perspectives on suffering and joy. Family friendly as well.

2 – RECREATION | For longer episodes filled with nature and camaraderie and hiking, follow Adventure Archives. Also family friendly, you’ll follow these friends on their backpacking adventures across America. They only post once a month, but their episodes are so great, we click the reminder bell to get notified when they post.

3 – DIY | The most creative DIY projects I’ve ever seen are on Evan and Katelyn’s channel. These two DIY “amateurs” are characters themselves, and they’re a joy to watch on all of their channels (they also have a podcast and a gaming channel). They’re full-time YouTubers who produce content every age can enjoy, plus they have the Supurrvisor (their cat) who pops in occasionally with hilarious commentary.

4 – TRAVEL | I have converted several of my coworkers to Kara and Nate. They are my favorite travel vloggers. They’re full-time world travelers who are eager to see the non-touristy parts of the world. They just visited their 100th country, and they’ve officially visited every continent after going to Antarctica earlier this year. They post high-quality content appropriate for all ages that will give you a travel bug in one episode. Watch til the end for bloopers that aren’t trapped behind a paywall on Patreon.

5 – SCIENCE | If you or your kids are looking to learn something new, visit Smarter Every Day. Destin is an engineer that breaks down complicated concepts into awesome videos everyone can enjoy. He also puts a little Easter egg of a Bible verse at the end of every video that correlates with the topic. Destin and his friend, Matt Whitman, also have a podcast called No Dumb Questions, which Jordan and I both love. We never miss an episode.

Side note: we also love Mark Rober, and Mark and Destin have collaborated on videos (see: rocket powered golf club).

6 – FAITH | Matt Whitman (see: #5) is a super brave YouTuber and podcaster who explores why people believe what they believe. He is a former pastor who interviews people from different denominations and faiths, exploring the origins of their churches and the history of Christianity. His channel, Ten Minute Bible Hour, has surprised me and delighted me and challenged me.

7 – FITNESS | I have two favorite fitness channels that make up my exercise routine every week. The first is Yoga with Adriene, who makes super high quality yoga videos for people of all abilities and body types and interest levels. She has everything from yoga for headaches to yoga for weight loss. All of her videos on YouTube are friendly for the kiddos, but she does have some videos specifically for kids.

The second one is The Fitness Marshall, who hails from my hometown and has risen to incredible success on YouTube with his dance fitness videos. He’s energetic, fun, and he makes exercise something to look forward to. Warning: before you turn this on for the kids, you’ll want to make sure you’re using the kid-friendly playlist.

If you decide to go wandering around on YouTube, I suggest you start with some of these “safe” channels. What you do after that is at your own risk. Enjoy!

sorry to the birds

As an ambassador for this Midwestern state –
and on behalf of its people –
we must apologize.

We are aware
you have only recently arrived,
and conditions have failed to meet your expectations.
Unfortunately,

these circumstances are completely out of our control.

Spring can be rather unpredictable in this area, as you may know.
We assure you the situation is temporary, and
we thank you for your patience. Meteorologists estimate
melt will occur within 24 hours,
if you’ll just
shelter in place
until that time.

Due to these unforeseen challenges,
we would like to offer you a full refund
on your migration expenses and a
free night’s stay in your nearest birdhouse, where
you can
spend time with your family,
learn a new hobby, or
completely lose sight of your healthy routine
in a matter of hours.

As difficult as it may seem, please understand
these restrictions are for your protection,
and the protection of your loved ones,
who may not be prepared for such dangerous conditions.

Please know we are working diligently
around the clock
to contain these flakes and return to you the illusion of
safety and normalcy.

You are our #1 priority in this crisis.

Should you have any questions about what to do next,
please direct them to our public relations department,
who will most certainly not have the answers,
but will hopefully make you feel
as if everything is fine anyway.

Sincerely,
The Bird Transportation Management Department of the State of Indiana.

Something good will come from this

Content creators across the internet are talking about the COVID-19 crisis. Hop on YouTube right now and you’ll see people vlogging about their shelter-in-place orders, teaching you how to cook crazy things with random items in your pantry, and writing songs about toilet paper.

People are giving a lot of things away for free, too. Movies and games are being released early. Musicians are playing free concerts online. And you really can learn to cook using the most unusual ingredients. Some of this social distancing has been nice because it’s filled my feed with some unique and sometimes inspiring content. While sensationalism, panic and irritation has ruled my Facebook feed, my Twitter feed has been filled with refreshing optimism and my YouTube subscriptions are sprinkled with laughter (and some really cool, relevant science – thanks Mark Rober). Chronic illness influencers have also been echoing something I said last week before the world really started melting down.

I hope these challenges are not easily forgotten. For many of us, our lives haven’t changed much since our countries and states started restricting our activities. We have always avoided crowded public spaces. We have always despised meet-and-greet time at church because we look like jerks waving at people while their hand is extended. We hate touching grocery carts and carry masks in our pockets. If you’re me, you were already working remotely because it’s a safer and easier option. We do all of this because we know a virus can set us back weeks at best and cause a serious relapse at its worst.

We used to look paranoid before COVID-19 showed up. Some people thought it was their job to tell us how overly cautious we were. But this virus has put those very people in our shoes. Now the general public is looking at door handles with skepticism and keeping a safe six feet away from everyone. I hope when all of this is over, they remember what it felt like.

I hope we learn to love a slower pace.
I hope we learn how to connect with people and show up for them.
I hope we never stop grocery shopping for each other.
I hope we keep packing meals for kids and families.
I hope we keep washing our hands… all the time.
I hope we learn to appreciate the process and stop waiting for the results.
I hope we are always concerned about loneliness in others, because it is its own plague, and it’ll never stop if we never care about it.

In two weeks or two months or two years, even, I hope we remember this as a moment in our history when everything changed. And I hope it does us some good.

The TV show that changed my life

If you’ve ever seen my office (my real one or my work one), you already know what that TV show is. Sorry for spoiling it with my decor.

The summer between my freshman and sophomore year of college, I had a pretty reliable routine. I worked full-time in an office when school was out, but when I got off work at 5, I practically ran home to try to soak up as much sun as I could.

My job was 8 mind-numbing hours of boredom. I filed papers and entered data, and sometimes all I did was wait around for more work to show up. It was feast or famine. Either we were overwhelmed or I was walking circles around the office asking for scraps of things to do.

Either way, by the time I got home, I was ready to decompress. My mom watched a lot of reruns and old films. She made me a fan of Turner Classic Movies, Doris Day, Judy Garland, Esther Williams. She watched the Waltons and Little House on the Prairie and seemingly anything that came in black and white.

There was also Star Trek. I made fun of her for watching The Next Generation reruns when I was in high school. Then she started watching the Voyager series, and I was afraid to admit I was mildly interested. A female captain, an angsty half-Klingon chief of engineering, a mysterious ex-Borg who couldn’t feel emotions. This was a whole new kind of Star Trek.

I asked for every collectible jewel case Voyager DVD set for Christmas that year. I took them back to college with me, and they kept me company while I spent my evenings immersed in homework. College was lonely. I was busy from 8 to 5 every day with class and work in between. But when I turned on Voyager, I found structure in chaos, friends in characters, and hope that life could look different than it did those days.

It was the only Star Trek series I ever really watched, but I was a fan. When I met my husband, I asked him what his favorite TV show was. He said Star Trek, and I was convinced. I had never met anyone else who loved Star Trek as much as I did. Anyone who could put up with my geekery certainly could handle all the other weird stuff about me.

And then I found out he’d been to space camp and on archaeological digs – basically all the things I ever dreamed of doing. Adventure was near.

After we got married, he introduced me to Deep Space Nine, Enterprise, and reintroduced me to TNG. We bonded on weeknights after stressful days at work. Every time I hear the DS9 theme, I get a little emotional and have to pause to listen to it. Because memories, right?

Now we’re watching Discovery and Picard and making new memories. Odd as it sounds, Star Trek has been a thread stitching together the last decade of my life or so. I’m glad I finally came to my senses (sorry for making fun of you, Mom).

Our favorite camping gadgets

Yesterday, the three things I had planned for the next few weeks all got cancelled in the same 24 hours due to the COVID-19 crisis. A conference, a concert, and a mini cave excursion for my dad’s birthday. That was a blow. Just a few days ago I was bragging that I had nothing to cancel because I was an introvert. I had no idea cave tours would be cancelled, or that a conference six weeks away would be affected.

We figure we still need to use our time off even if everyone is social distancing or isolating themselves. But isn’t that the exact definition of a camping trip?

It looks like campgrounds are staying open… for now. So we’re getting ready.

We inherited a fellow camper’s inventory last fall, which was super helpful, but it meant we had to purge and merge it with ours. As we were going through our stuff, I realized there were a few non-negotiables that needed to be with us on every camping trip. Note: these are especially great if you can’t be on a full hookup at the campground.

1 | The Mr. Heater Basecamp Shower System. You guys, I had no idea there was a way to have a hot shower without a showerhouse. But this is it. If you have a pop-up shower tent, a propane tank, and a big water container on wheels, you’re all set. Easy to hook up and easy to use. Disclaimer: we use the showerhouse when at an actual campground, but when we’re boondocking (like at AirVenture), this is a true luxury.

2 | A plastic indoor/outdoor rug. You never know what the weather will be like or where you’ll be parked sometimes. We bought one of these big “rugs” and staked it down outside our camper to help keep the dust off our shoes and give us a dry place to land when stepping outside. This was especially helpful when the campground at Oshkosh turned into a mud rally last year, and we were trying to stay as dry and clean as possible.

3 | Jordan insists we have to include our solar power system in this list. We’re solar amateurs but we successfully installed this system on our camper. It’s a 300 watt system that on a sunny day produces 14.6 amps per hour or more. It was more than enough to top off our 200 amp hour battery. For reference, our LED camper lights pull .6 amps per hour and wide open our Maxxair fan on the roof pulls 2.8 amps per hour. This system includes the inverter/charger, the MPPT solar charge controller, flexible Renogy solar panels, and the batteries.

UPDATE (1/15/21): We added some new components to our solar setup! We now have a new solar charge controller as well as a smart shunt, both from Victron. Together, they give you info via Bluetooth about solar charging and power usage, all without having to put holes in the camper for a display.

4 | The aforementioned Maxxair fan on the roof. It saves us energy and keeps us cool day and night. We haven’t even had to turn on our swamp cooler. On high it does get a tad noisy, but it helps drown out some of the campground bustle when you’re trying to sleep.

5 | An electric tea kettle. Any kind. I recommend one that’s plastic on the outside, not glass, especially because you want one that will survive road trips and heavy use. It made coffee in the morning, noodle cups for lunch, and gave us hot water for doing dishes in the evening. That is, if you have access to electricity.

6 | Our super efficient Alpicool refrigerator. I named it the Mary Poppins refrigerator because it seems like it never stops running out of space, and I always marvel at how much I can actually put inside for such a small unit.

7 | And finally… a rechargeable water pump. We filled a five gallon water cooler jug with our favorite water (from home) and put it on our countertop. This pump makes it easy to get water without pouring and will even stop when your bottle is full.

If you’re thinking about renovating a camper or starting a family camping tradition, I can say from experience these made our trips way more comfortable. Got any favorites you recommend?